| "I like to crack jokes now and again, but it's only because I struggle with math" comedienne | 106 |
| "I like to play chess with old men in the park. The tough part: finding 32 of them." comic Philips | 108 |
| "I live on ___-way street that's also a dead end. I'm not sure how I got there." (Steven Wright) | 114 |
| "I loaned a friend of mine $8,000 for plastic surgery and now I don't know what he looks like" comic Philips | 122 |
| "I Lost Everything in the Post-Natal Depression" author Bombeck | 73 |
| "I Lost Everything in the Post-Natal Depression" writer Bombeck | 73 |
| "I love to detail cars, but I will ___ without a down payment" | 72 |
| "I made more lousy pictures than any actor in history" speaker, familiarly | 84 |
| "I mean, isn't she worth, like, a ___ dollars?" (line from the pilot of "Will & Grace") | 115 |
| "I must create a system, __ enslav'd by another Man's": Blake | 79 |
| "I never hated a man enough to give him his diamonds back" speaker | 76 |
| "I only regret that I have but one life to lose for my country" speaker | 81 |
| "I only spend these quarters on video games that involving drawing partitions"? | 89 |
| "I refuse to join any __ that would have me as a member": Groucho | 75 |
| "I respect a man who knows how to spell a word more than one way" | 75 |
| "I Saw Her Standing There," vis-Ã -vis "I Want to Hold Your Hand" | 87 |
| "I say, old chap, I've sold my last copy of that newsweekly"? | 75 |
| "I should ___ die with pity, / To see another thus": King Lear | 72 |
| "I suppose it might seem odd that a reverend like myself would suddenly begin ___ ..." | 96 |
| "I think about quitting every time I can't stand the Heat," quipped ___ | 85 |
| "I think I'm on a hot streak, should I quit while I'm ahead?" | 79 |
| "I think ___ initial intention was to make tennis balls" (Mitch Hedberg) | 82 |
| "I told the cops a dame got the better of me. One of them said, '___' ..." | 92 |
| "I took you for that cunning ___ of Venice" (line from "Othello") | 85 |
| "I trust him about ___ ..." (start of a leery person's statement) | 79 |
| "I unintentionally brought Mom's bag of DVDs instead of mine, so in the back seat we watched about 10 minutes of '___' ..." | 145 |
| "I Want to Hold Your Hand" through "All My Loving," on "Meet the Beatles!" | 104 |
| "I want you to think of one of your parents ... Concentrate now ... Create an image in your head ... The parent you are thinking of is ___" | 149 |
| "I wanted a DIESEL TRUCK, but got this ___! (Which'll never bear birds)" | 87 |
| "I wanted a MISSILE TANK, but instead I'm suffering from ___! (And I never even left the lodge)" | 110 |
| "I wanted a SUBMARINE, but that lab experiment left me with ___! (Now I think like a flightless bird)" | 112 |
| "I wanted a TWIN-NOSED JET, but all I got were these ___! (Which don't bend like normal salamanders)" | 116 |
| "I was alone, ___ a ride / I didn't know what I would find there" (opening lines for The Beatles's "Got To Get You Into My Life") | 157 |
| "I was volunteering at the orphanage at the time of the murder," e.g. | 79 |
| "I Was ___" (Alanis Morissette song on the album "Supposed Former Infatuation Junkie") | 106 |
| "I will always wear black; even when I enjoy a concert I will never do more than sway disaffectedly," etc. | 116 |
| "I won't ___ guy who doesn't own a toolbox" (Kristy Swanson quote) | 84 |
| "I wonder what the word for 'dots' looks like in Braille," e.g. | 81 |
| "I would give all my fame for ___ of ale" ("King Henry V") | 78 |
| "I would give all my ____ for a pot of ale":"Henry V" | 73 |
| "I would rather die than be in the United States ___" (Chris Christie) | 80 |
| "I would rather eat a golf ball than see this movie again" writer | 75 |
| "I would venture to guess that __, who wrote so many poems without signing them, was often a woman": Woolf | 116 |
| "I ___ Feeling" (Black Eyed Peas earworm that causes brain damage, sorry) | 83 |
| "I ___ her on Monday, 'twas my lucky bun day" (Spinal Tap lyrics) | 79 |
| "I ___ man in Reno / just to watch him die" ("Folsom Prison Blues" line) | 92 |
| "I ___ red door and I want it painted black" (Rolling Stones lyrics) | 78 |
| "I'd go out with women my age, but there are no women my age" speaker | 83 |
| "I'd rather be on ___ than be emperor of the world" (George Washington) | 85 |
| "I'd subscribe to your site but it takes forever to load it!"? | 76 |
| "I'll be merry and free, I'll be sad for __-body" (Burns) | 75 |
| "I'll Be There for You" for "Friends," and others | 73 |
| "I'll beat him so bad he'll need a shoehorn to put his hat on" boaster | 88 |
| "I'll climb on your kitchen countertop, if it makes you feel alright..." | 86 |
| "I'll have a venti half-caff skinny peppermint mocha ___, please" | 79 |
| "I'll just go ahead and throw this out anyway" online abbr. | 73 |
| "I'll Make Love to You" group exchanged for Japanese currency? | 76 |
| "I'll send an ___ to the world" (repeated lyric in "Message in a Bottle") | 97 |
| "I'll take 'The New York Times Crossword Puzzle' for $200, ___" | 85 |
| "I'm a bit leery of dogs - it's unsettling to enter a yard and hear some ___ at me ..." | 105 |
| "I'm a ___!" (Rosie O'Donnell's coming-out announcement) | 78 |
| "I'm a ___, Dottie. A rebel." (Classic line from "Pee-wee's Big Adventure") | 103 |
| "I'm all by myself, as I've always felt" song by the Pumpkins | 79 |
| "I'm buying!," at a bar ... or a hint to this puzzle's theme | 78 |
| "I'm Chevy Chase" and "You're not," for example | 75 |
| "I'm crazy about my fine collection of guitars with steel resonators"? | 84 |
| "I'm going to ___" White Stripes "Seven Nation Army" lyric | 82 |
| "I'm gonna say it like a man and make you understand, ___!" | 73 |
| "I'm just __ boy, I need no sympathy": "Bohemian Rhapsody" | 82 |
| "I'm kind of embarrassed how many people mistake me for George Clooney and ask for my autograph," e.g. | 116 |
| "I'm light as a feather, but nobody can hold me for very long ..." | 80 |
| "I'm Mighty Glad I'm Living, That's All" songwriter | 73 |
| "I'm not a Republican, but I'm saving up to be one" comic Philips | 83 |
| "I'm not ashamed of my association with Gene Simmons," admitted ___ | 81 |
| "I'm On ___" (2009 song by The Lonely Island featuring T-Pain) | 76 |
| "I'm returning these pants-I don't dig them like I used to" | 77 |
| "I'm returning these pet accessories-they're quite holey" | 75 |
| "I'm returning these sheets-I tuck them in, but they're always coming out" | 92 |
| "I'm returning these toy fighters-they're really lousy!" | 74 |
| "I'm returning these woods-I beat myself up every time I use them" | 80 |
| "I'm returning this feathered headdress-it's just not refined" | 80 |
| "I'm returning this laundry product-it only works on blouses" | 75 |
| "I'm returning this room warmer-it makes my floor bend downward" | 78 |
| "I'm sorry, Dave, I'm afraid I can't do that" computer | 76 |
| "I'm strongly thinking about moving to Iowa, how will I secure a place to live?" | 94 |
| "I'm stuck in ___ again" (Credence Clearwater Revival lyric) | 74 |
| "I'm the beginning of eternity, the end of time and space, the beginning of the end, and the end of every place ..." | 130 |
| "I'm wearing some outdoorsy clothes I bought from a catalog"? | 75 |
| "I'm ___ Boat" (single featured on "SNL" in 2009) | 73 |
| "I'm ___" (Lemmon's last words in "Some Like It Hot") | 81 |
| "I'm ___, Indiana Jones, and Bladerunner. I'm Fuckin' Over It!": shirt Photoshopped onto Harrison Ford | 124 |
| "I've got a new job! Just call me ___" said Bonnie, the mortgage broker | 85 |
| "I've had 18 straight whiskies. I think that's the record" | 76 |
| "I've had a perfectly wonderful evening, ___": Groucho Marx | 73 |
| "I've ___ All Good People" (song on "The Yes Album") | 76 |
| "If at first, the ___ is not absurd, then there is no hope for it": Einstein | 86 |
| "If Democrats Had Any Brains, They'd Be Republicans" author Coulter | 81 |
| "If Democrats Had Any Brains, ___ Be Republicans" (Ann Coulter book) | 78 |
| "If God did not exist, it would be necessary to invent him" writer | 76 |
| "If God wanted us to fly, He would have given us ___": Mel Brooks | 75 |