| Musical with the song "Slide Some Oil to Me," with "The" | 76 |
| 1975 musical with the song "Believe in Yourself," with "The" | 80 |
| "Don't Nobody Bring Me No Bad News" musical, with "The" | 79 |
| Theoretical terrorist's theoretical threat that we should probably go crazy worrying about | 94 |
| "Barney Miller" character who got the whole precinct high on pot brownies | 83 |
| Author of the 1968 work named in the circled letters (reading clockwise) | 72 |
| Box sets containing "The Right Stuff," "A Man in Full" and "I Am Charlotte Simmons"? | 114 |
| The "greatest blessing" and the "greatest plague": Euripides | 80 |
| John Lennon song that ends "I love you, yeah, yeah, now and forever" | 78 |
| "Congratulations! You ___ million dollar lottery" (classic spam opening) | 82 |
| "___ Get Fooled Again" (last song on "Who's Next") | 74 |
| "Hey, what did you think when you missed that last pit stop?" [The Who, 1971] | 87 |
| First name of a former president ... or, read another way, what each of the circled lines is | 92 |
| Sports Illustrated's first two-time Sportsman of the Year, 1996 and 2000 | 76 |
| Who wrote "It's not that I'm afraid to die, I just don't want to be there when it happens" | 112 |
| Puzzle invented by Lewis Carroll (and a hint to this puzzle's theme) | 72 |
| "The refuge of people who have nothing better to do," according to Oscar Wilde | 88 |
| Summit attendee, and what the first word can be in each answer to a starred clue | 80 |
| Game from IGNPC's Best of E3 2003 Awards (for Best Persistent Online Title) | 79 |
| Very distant or different (and a hint to what's hidden among the Across answers, in their logical order, from top to bottom) | 128 |
| Information superhighway whose abbreviation inspired this puzzle's theme | 76 |
| Computer malady (and what can follow the starts of the four longest puzzle answers) | 83 |
| "Interest paid on trouble before it falls due," per W. R. Inge | 72 |
| It "gives you something to do, but it gets you nowhere": Glenn Turner | 79 |
| Answer to "who's responsible for eating all the cheese I left out?"? | 82 |
| Floors [an avxwords.com subscription makes a great holiday crossword gift!] | 75 |
| Old film actress who starred in 1950's TV's "The Pride of the Family" | 87 |
| 'lympic competittitors who just wanna see what th'judges react if they do a cannball ri' here? | 106 |
| Architect whose epitaph says "Reader, if you seek his monument, look around you" | 90 |
| Recent strikers who literally account for today's missing theme letters | 75 |
| Mad scientist's sadistic exclamation upon attacking the Empire State? | 73 |
| Calvin Coolidge lived up to his reputation as a man of few words when he ... | 76 |
| After a single hearing of a sacred piece in the Sistine Chapel, Mystery Person ... | 82 |
| Librettist who rhymed "a lot o' news" with "hypotenuse" | 79 |
| Paper with "Marketplace" and "Money & Investing" sects. | 79 |
| Someone who isn't going to have a Four Loko and salvia cocktail before planking, obviously! | 95 |
| Classic rap outfit whose more famous members are circled in this puzzle's theme answers | 91 |
| "High Qua1ityMeds - 50% off ___ straight from our 0nline parma3y" | 75 |
| "... each armed with a double-bladed ___ (to cut both ways, of course) ..." | 85 |
| Spanish-American bandleader once married to Abbe Lane born on January 1, 1900 | 77 |
| Take two balloons, hold them side by side, then twist the whole thing in the middle | 83 |
| Ohio city where a Burger King worker YouTubed himself bathing in the sink in 2008 | 81 |
| Interplanetary dictator in Scientology who we're not supposed to talk about | 79 |
| TV series whose finale was titled "The Truth," with "The" | 77 |
| Short-lived pigskin org. that had a player whose jersey said "He Hate Me" | 83 |
| Short-lived gridiron org. that had a player named "He Hate Me" | 72 |
| Short-lived and generally disastrous sports experiment of the early 2000s | 73 |
| Bygone sports org. for which Minnesota governor Jesse Ventura was a TV analyst | 78 |
| First words of the title of Sue Grafton's as-yet-unwritten 24th Kinsey Millhone mystery | 91 |
| Sports cars advertised with the slogan "Domesticated. Not declawed." | 78 |
| Rule for finding buried treasure ... and a hint to making sense of this puzzle | 78 |
| After following the instructions to make a big one, hint that tells you where to look around to find hidden booty | 113 |
| Valentine's Day card signoff (and a hint to this puzzle's theme) | 72 |
| "The Mayor of Simpleton" band whose name sounds like a state of bliss | 79 |
| Advice like "Don't fly so low you crash into the Death Star"? | 75 |
| 2003 Penn/Watts drama with "The weight of a hummingbird" in one of its taglines | 89 |
| "I want you to think of one of your parents ... Concentrate now ... Create an image in your head ... The parent you are thinking of is ___" | 149 |
| Who said "I believe in censorship. After all I made a fortune out of it" | 82 |
| Its first notable orchestral use was in Saint-Saëns' "Danse Macabre" | 85 |
| Rapper with an MTV show ... whose name sounds like a word meaning "show" | 82 |
| Doors song off "Backstage and Dangerous" (with "Hyper") | 75 |
| Internet giant that recently fought Microsoft's hostile takeover attempt | 76 |
| Native American group (and source of a Washington city that differs by one letter) | 82 |
| “Harvard Beats ___, 29-29” (1968 “Harvard Crimson” headline) | 76 |
| 1992 gold medalist who was a "Dancing With the Stars" champion | 72 |
| The bright side (according to Chinese philosophy) of an Oscar-winning film director? | 84 |
| Taiwanese LPGA star who is the youngest golfer to win five major championships | 78 |
| Greek new age musician who performed at the Acropolis, the Taj Mahal, and the Burj Khalifa | 90 |
| Five-time teammate of Bryant, Duncan, and Nowitzki at the NBA All-Star Game | 75 |
| Athlete who's been #1 on the Forbes China Celebrity 100 list six years in a row | 83 |
| "Now he's spotted the pizza delivery boy, who's through the gate and crossing the ___!" | 105 |
| QB who threw a record-tying seven touchdown passes in a single game (1962) | 74 |
| Band whose "Only You" was featured in "Napoleon Dynamite" | 77 |
| Blender magazine's #1 song (by Usher and Ludacris) on the 100 Best Songs of 2004 | 84 |
| "America (Fuck ___)" ("Team America: World Police" song) | 76 |
| ''... _____ to breathe free'' (Statue of Liberty inscription) | 77 |
| When pretty much every fruit and vegetable is available, in modern supermarkets | 79 |
| Flying by the bookstore, you were caught doing "One Hundred ___" in a "Fifty Shades of Grey" zone... | 120 |
| He wrote "It's certain that fine women eat / A crazy salad with their meat" | 89 |
| "I bring you with reverent Hands / The books of my numberless dreams ..." poet | 88 |
| Swiss band with "Oh, Yeah" (as heard in "Ferris Bueller's Day Off") | 91 |
| Slow down for this Wyoming site that was the inspiration for the Yogi Bear cartoon | 82 |
| Issue of a U.S. beauty magazine historic for being the first sent to post-Soviet Russia? | 88 |
| You might have one to visit Japan, but you'll need a bunch once you get there | 81 |
| Michelle who's the greatest action heroine of all time, per Rotten Tomatoes | 79 |
| Michelle ranked #1 on Rotten Tomatoes' "25 Best Action Heroines of All Time" | 90 |
| Cartoony yell if your butt's on fire and you're running in circles | 74 |
| "___ Favourites" (2005 compilation album from the Tragically Hip) | 75 |
| "___ Blues" (track on the Beatles' "White Album") | 73 |
| Kid-lit title character who says "I am the ruler of all that I see!" | 78 |
| Kid-lit title character who cries, "Oh, the things I now rule!" | 73 |
| Prog band with a Grammy-nominated concert video directed by Steven Soderbergh | 77 |
| Meg Ryan's repeated shout in a famous "When Harry Met Sally ..." scene | 84 |
| It's ''positively'' hidden four times in this puzzle | 72 |
| "___ jumpy rhythm makes you feel so fine" (lyric from Johnny Cash's "Get Rhythm") | 105 |
| "___ Am" (Melissa Etheridge album released the year she came out) | 75 |
| "And ___ it moves" (what Galileo allegedly said in reference to the earth) | 84 |
| Line showing the relationship between an interest rate and maturity date | 72 |
| Place where "You can get yourself clean, you can have a good meal" | 76 |
| 1978 hit with the lyric "You can get yourself clean, you can have a good meal" | 88 |