| Upon reviewing the apprentice's work, the boss said, "Truly you are a __" | 87 |
| West Indian language that gave us the words "hammock" and "cassava" | 87 |
| He said "If playing chess were made illegal by law, I would become an outlaw" | 87 |
| An automatic one injured Vince Coleman in 1985, forcing him to sit out the World Series | 87 |
| Country singer with the 2012 #1 hit "We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together" | 87 |
| Newman who is running against Jerry Costello for Illinois' 12th congressal district | 87 |
| Band originally snubbed by a label that said "Guitar music is on the way out" | 87 |
| Poem featuring the line “O, rest ye, brother mariners, we will not wander more” | 87 |
| Poem with the line, "Ah, distinctly I remember, it was in the bleak December" | 87 |
| It includes a vest ... and what can be found in each set of circles in the long answers | 87 |
| "Heart and Soul" '80s band with a strange name (hidden in PREGNANT PAUSE) | 87 |
| Molecule that sends amino acids to ribosomes ... and a hint to the theme of this puzzle | 87 |
| Q: How many ___ agents does it take to change a lightbulb? A: Please remove your pants. | 87 |
| Craft whose existence may be denied by government officials, thus proving its existence | 87 |
| 1965 Righteous Brothers hit repopularized by its use in the 1990 film "Ghost" | 87 |
| Genghis Khan reportedly decided not to conquer India after meeting one on a mountaintop | 87 |
| With "The," NBC drama inspired by the film "The American President" | 87 |
| "___ happened?" (Fred Willard's catchphrase in "A Mighty Wind") | 87 |
| "Hey, what did you think when you missed that last pit stop?" [The Who, 1971] | 87 |
| Old film actress who starred in 1950's TV's "The Pride of the Family" | 87 |
| "Place you can go ... when you're short on your dough," according to song | 87 |
| "Butterfly" co-star who won the 1982 Golden Raspberry Award for Worst Actress | 87 |
| Tropical insect whose name is the last word in the Official Scrabble Players Dictionary | 87 |
| "We'll tak ___ o' kindness yet" (line from "Auld Lang Syne") | 88 |
| Confuse—or what to do to four common phrases to form this puzzle's theme answers | 88 |
| Vikings running back Peterson who holds the NFL record for yards rushed in a single game | 88 |
| Old riddle: "What did Delaware?" Answer: "I don't know, but ___" | 88 |
| "While I strongly disagree with the court's decision, I accept it" speaker | 88 |
| "I'll beat him so bad he'll need a shoehorn to put his hat on" boaster | 88 |
| "Dilbert" engineer whose "cardiovascular system is basically coffee" | 88 |
| Dominican Republic teammate of Encarnación and Guerrero in the World Baseball Classic | 88 |
| Alternative words used as alternatives for each other in this puzzle's theme answers | 88 |
| "Their wine is the poison of dragons, and the cruel venom of ___": Deuteronomy | 88 |
| Contest where you'd hear words like "euonym" and "autochthonous" | 88 |
| Ballplayer Campaneris who was the first ever to play all nine positions in a single game | 88 |
| ''Sun,'' ''star,'' or ''cloud'' follower | 88 |
| "Eoweoweoweow-powpowpowpow-ooohweee-ooohweee-whooopwhooop-urnhurnhurnh" device | 88 |
| World leader who co-wrote the book "How Far We Slaves Have Come!" with Mandela | 88 |
| United Artists cofounder whose first feature-length film was "The Kid" in 1921 | 88 |
| Who said "The less you open your heart to others, the more your heart suffers" | 88 |
| (Mark Kurlansky, 1997) Supplement that some claim eases arthritis (Upton Sinclair, 1927) | 88 |
| Only person to win an Oscar and a Razzie for Direction (not for the same movie, however) | 88 |
| Annual cause of losing an hr.'s sleep hidden in this puzzle's 10 longest answers | 88 |
| Real-life law enforcer in the "Doctor Who" episode "The Gunfighters" | 88 |
| "___ deutsches album" (German-language version of a 1980 Peter Gabriel record) | 88 |
| Insincere talk, and a hint to the starts of this puzzle's four other longest entries | 88 |
| Midwestern city named after a character in Tennyson's "Idylls of the King" | 88 |
| Brian who said "I donÂ’t really have a musical identity outside of studios" | 88 |
| "A literary device for saying almost everything about almost anything": Huxley | 88 |
| 311 "You're cruisin', don't ___ care about what you're losing" | 88 |
| Word with ''black,'' ''red'' or ''pink'' | 88 |
| ''...the _____ are getting fat'': ''Beggar's Rhyme'' | 88 |
| "O wad some power the giftie ___ us / To see oursels as ithers see us!": Burns | 88 |
| Politician who's done cameos on "Seinfeld" and "Law & Order" | 88 |
| Award Cillian Murphy was nominated for for the 2005 movie "Breakfast on Pluto" | 88 |
| This puzzle's theme—according to Twain, it's "a good walk spoiled" | 88 |
| "Over" follower in the first line of "The Caissons Go Rolling Along" | 88 |
| ___ Dark Materials (Philip Pullman trilogy that includes "The Golden Compass") | 88 |
| "He who sells what isn't __ must buy it back or go to prison": Daniel Drew | 88 |
| "Young Frankenstein" character with the classic line "Walk this way" | 88 |
| "___ 'Beats' Tina to Death" (December 13, 2007 New York Post headline) | 88 |
| "Yes, here __ close to a stunted rose bush": "Spoon River Anthology" | 88 |
| Dallas wide receiver Michael who won three Super Bowls with Troy Aikman and Emmitt Smith | 88 |
| ___ Diamond, author of the 1998 Pulitzer-winning book "Guns, Germs, and Steel" | 88 |
| Radio host who said of U2: "These guys are from England and who gives a shit?" | 88 |
| Hang on to ... or a word that can precede either half of the answer to each starred clue | 88 |
| Comics character who said "Big sisters are the crab grass in the lawn of life" | 88 |
| German skier Hermann who won gold in the super G and giant slalom at the Nagano Olympics | 88 |
| One may be knocked over continually by those goddamn teenagers in their goddamned pickup | 88 |
| Like 49.1 pecent of the population, according to a 2000 report by the U.S. Census Bureau | 88 |
| Whenever it comes, "you can find me cryin' all of the time," in a 1966 hit | 88 |
| Old "S.N.L." character currently in MasterCard's "Priceless" ads | 88 |
| News Corporation-owned Web site that's one of the 10 most visited sites in the world | 88 |
| Indian leader whose 1947 inauguration speech was titled "A Tryst with Destiny" | 88 |
| Actress Long who still isn't married, which is a situation I'm keeping an eye on | 88 |
| Coward who said "I love criticism just so long as it's unqualified praise" | 88 |
| Mo. in which chemistry nerds celebrate Mole Day (between 6:02 AM and 6:02 PM, precisely) | 88 |
| Adopted last name of singer Anita Colton (it's pig Latin for what she hoped to make) | 88 |
| "___ to the Motherland" (performance at the Beijing Olympics opening ceremony) | 88 |
| Song that follows "Sunday Bloody Sunday" on the album "U218 Singles" | 88 |
| Distance forward in the alphabet that each changed letter in the theme entries has moved | 88 |
| Magazine in which Arnold Schwarzenegger discussed having an orgy with other bodybuilders | 88 |
| "The pizza is $9.75 ... he hands the $10 off to the boy and waits for the ___" | 88 |
| Only major "MASH" character played by the same actor in the film and TV series | 88 |
| "In my own place, my name ain't ___ ... my name is Enrico Salvatore Rizzo" | 88 |
| 1984 movie with the tag line "It's 4 a.m., do you know where your car is?" | 88 |
| Spoiler: He's Hermione's hubby at the end of the "Harry Potter" series | 88 |
| Comic who said "A conservative is someone who believes in reform. But not now" | 88 |
| "I bought this new sword and sorcery book. It's about a king, ___ Rex ..." | 88 |
| "The House Without ___" (first of Earl Derr Biggers's Charlie Chan novels) | 88 |
| Actor whose debut film was "The Russians Are Coming! The Russians Are Coming!" | 88 |
| It begins "Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion" | 88 |
| "The narrator of the 'Fifty Shades' trilogy's a stealth assassin"? | 88 |
| Botanist who arranged "On the Origin of Species" to be published in the States | 88 |
| "Lisa Bonet ___ basil" (lyric from Weird Al's palindromic "Bob") | 88 |
| What you need in order to be sure you'll have something to put your cream cheese on? | 88 |
| Reasonable response to "Do you think BP is handling the oil spill adequately?" | 88 |
| 2011 Record of the Year nominee whose name roughly translates to "good winter" | 88 |
| 1932 dystopian novel in which humans give up individuality to mindlessly pursue pleasure | 88 |
| Wherefrom visiting speaker Elmer Fudd bellowed "Pway faw a miwacoo, wabbits!"? | 88 |