| Response to a scarecrow, perhaps | 32 |
| Response to a schoolyard denial | 31 |
| Response to a sermon | 20 |
| Response to a sharp rejoinder | 29 |
| Response to a shock | 19 |
| Response to a shot, maybe | 25 |
| Response to a sinking feeling? | 30 |
| Response to a site gag? | 23 |
| Response to a skeptic | 21 |
| Response to a slight | 20 |
| Response to a sneeze | 20 |
| Response to a sneeze, in Sonora | 31 |
| Response to a stimulus | 22 |
| Response to a stomach punch | 27 |
| Response to a sudden chill | 26 |
| Response to a superior's request | 36 |
| Response to a surprising statement | 34 |
| Response to a text alert in the movie theater | 45 |
| Response to a threat | 20 |
| Response to a vet, maybe | 24 |
| Response to a waitress | 22 |
| Response to a wake-up call | 26 |
| Response to a weak joke | 23 |
| Response to a weak joke, perhaps | 32 |
| Response to a wedgie, perhaps | 29 |
| Response to a wisecrack | 23 |
| Response to a yodeler | 21 |
| Response to actress Bracco's "What's for brunch?"? | 68 |
| Response to an accusation | 25 |
| Response to an affront | 22 |
| Response to an answer | 21 |
| Response to an arrest, initially | 32 |
| Response to an awful pun made by actress York? | 46 |
| Response to an awkwardly timed call | 35 |
| Response to an e-mail wisecrack | 31 |
| Response to an e-mailed joke, maybe | 35 |
| Response to an early returner | 29 |
| Response to an error, maybe | 27 |
| Response to an eruption of sorts | 32 |
| Response to an explanation | 26 |
| Response to an IM'ed joke | 29 |
| Response to an impatient person | 31 |
| Response to an impressive put-down | 34 |
| Response to an insult | 21 |
| Response to an insult, maybe | 28 |
| Response to an interruption | 27 |
| Response to an invitation | 25 |
| Response to an offer | 20 |
| Response to an on-line joke | 27 |
| Response to an online joke | 26 |
| Response to an order | 20 |
| Response to an oversharer | 25 |
| Response to an unexpected gift | 30 |
| Response to audience applause at the end of a performance | 57 |
| Response to Aunt Polly, perhaps | 31 |
| Response to back-scratching | 27 |
| Response to bad news | 20 |
| Response to bad news, sometimes | 31 |
| Response to bad service | 23 |
| Response to Beatlemania | 23 |
| Response to being cut off | 25 |
| Response to being elbowed, maybe | 32 |
| Response to being held up, maybe | 32 |
| Response to being tickled | 25 |
| Response to captain's orders | 32 |
| Response to comic Anderson's "What's for dinner?"? | 68 |
| Response to constant carping | 28 |
| Response to daredeviltry | 24 |
| Response to dropping donuts and so forth | 40 |
| Response to Ebert when he asks, "What's your favorite Christmas decoration?" | 90 |
| Response to feeble excuses | 26 |
| Response to finger pointing | 27 |
| Response to fireworks | 21 |
| Response to freshness? | 22 |
| Response to getting a ring? | 27 |
| Response to getting one's dander up? | 40 |
| Response to goo | 15 |
| Response to great news | 22 |
| Response to impertinence, maybe | 31 |
| Response to internet cat photos, say | 36 |
| Response to jazzman Peterson's "What's for dinner?"? | 70 |
| Response to many a punch line | 29 |
| Response to minister's query | 32 |
| Response to one in command | 26 |
| Response to pain | 16 |
| Response to poor service | 24 |
| Response to puns, often | 23 |
| Response to receiving a perfect present | 39 |
| Response to revelations | 23 |
| Response to Revolutionary Arnold's "What's for breakfast?"? | 77 |
| Response to rot | 15 |
| Response to rudeness | 20 |
| Response to sarcasm | 19 |
| Response to sarcasm, perhaps | 28 |
| Response to Sinatra | 19 |
| Response to snake oil, perhaps | 30 |
| Response to someone pointing | 28 |
| Response to someone who sent you flowers? | 41 |
| Response to Spanish tenor Kraus's "What's for dinner?"? | 73 |
| Response to sugar pills, perhaps | 32 |