| P.T. Barnum hoax The ___ Mermaid (from the old spelling of a Pacific island) | 76 |
| Piece of usually antiquated technology that is passed onto one's parents | 76 |
| People classified as "homo groovius" by humor website Uncyclopedia | 76 |
| Promise to a contact upon arriving at the rendezvous point with the suitcase | 76 |
| Palace used as police headquarters on the original "Hawaii Five-O" | 76 |
| Philanthropist Henry who founded many affordable housing developments in NYC | 76 |
| Pal of Marshall, Lily, Robin and Barney on "How I Met Your Mother" | 76 |
| Publication with a 1997 headline "Drug Use Down Among Uncool Kids" | 76 |
| Program hosted by a televangelist who's raising money for a school play? | 76 |
| Phrase with synonyms starting this puzzle's eight longest Across answers | 76 |
| Portrayer of Dr. Frank-N-Furter in "The Rocky Horror Picture Show" | 76 |
| Publisher with the slogan "Science fiction. Fantasy. The universe" | 76 |
| Placekicker Jim who scored 10 points in the Jets' Super Bowl III victory | 76 |
| Proposed "fifth taste," which means "savory" in Japanese | 76 |
| Place where "You can get yourself clean, you can have a good meal" | 76 |
| Proverb containing wisdom almost certainly contradicted by some other proverb | 77 |
| Philip __, first Asian-American film actor with a Hollywood Walk of Fame star | 77 |
| President who said "I have never felt any sort of fondness for war" | 77 |
| Patti LaBelle hit whose remake lasted longer in the #1 spot than the original | 77 |
| Puff of smoke that makes you grow to twice your size, a la Super Mario Bros.? | 77 |
| Phrase that indicates you needn't worry about Chinese restaurant syndrome | 77 |
| Pennsylvania baseball park that might (weirdly) host playoff baseball in 2013 | 77 |
| Poker occasions "you got to know," according to a Kenny Rogers song | 77 |
| Part of NaOH (just to give The Snack's old rival a smidgen of equal time) | 77 |
| Pen name for Angela Lansbury's character on "Murder, She Wrote" | 77 |
| Philosopher who coined the phrase "the best of all possible worlds" | 77 |
| Pop trio with the 1964 hit "Bread and Butter," with "the" | 77 |
| Possible outcome of the event that is visually represented twice in this grid | 77 |
| Person that "I'm Not," nor were any characters, in a 1996 movie | 77 |
| Prog band with a Grammy-nominated concert video directed by Steven Soderbergh | 77 |
| Peter Tosh "You Don't Miss Your Water (Till Your Well Runs ___)" | 78 |
| Pretty intense way to refer to an undocumented worker, when you think about it | 78 |
| Product whose name was inspired by the movie "2001: A Space Odyssey" | 78 |
| Plains Native American tribe that becomes a state if you drop the first letter | 78 |
| Probably my least-favorite Eric Clapton song (and that's saying something) | 78 |
| Profession of Clementine's father in "Oh My Darling, Clementine" | 78 |
| Pulitzer nominee for the novels "Black Water" and "Blonde" | 78 |
| Prof. Lidenbrock of Verne's "Journey to the Center of the Earth" | 78 |
| Pharmaceutical company budget line generally dwarfed by ad expenditures: Abbr. | 78 |
| Plant known as "seer's sage" because of its hallucinatory effect | 78 |
| Part of a U.S. president's name that's Dutch for "neighbors" | 78 |
| Philosopher who wrote "Superstition is the religion of feeble minds" | 78 |
| Proper sort ... or a cry upon solving each of this puzzle's theme answers? | 78 |
| Politician who read "Green Eggs and Ham" during a 21-hour filibuster | 78 |
| Prophet of Thebes, struck blind by Athena when he accidentally saw her bathing | 78 |
| Public FM station in Michigan's largest city (as seen in its call letters) | 78 |
| Product once advertised with the catchphrase "There's no step 3!" | 79 |
| Political cartoonist called "our best recruiting sergeant" by Lincoln | 79 |
| Pitcher nicknamed "The Tornado" who threw no-hitters in 1996 and 2001 | 79 |
| Peggy who wrote George Bush's "Read my lips: no new taxes" speech | 79 |
| Poet who wrote "The moving finger writes; and, having writ, moves on" | 79 |
| Pitcher Maglie who in 1950 had baseball's highest winning percentage (.818) | 79 |
| Picnic food with a classic jingle asking "what kind of kids eat" them | 79 |
| Popular and bad-ass name for the Helix Nebula, which looks a little like Sauron | 79 |
| Person who believes that studying socks and shorts long enough will reveal god? | 79 |
| Possible response to "My boss is leaving and I hate his replacement"? | 79 |
| Paper with "Marketplace" and "Money & Investing" sects. | 79 |
| Pasadena institute where most of "The Big Bang Theory" characters work | 80 |
| Producer of Coldplay's "Viva la Vida or Death and All His Friends" | 80 |
| Paul Simon told him to get on the bus to "Leave" his "Lover" | 80 |
| Philatelist George, founder of the largest weekly newspaper for stamp collectors | 80 |
| Puzzlement ... or a hint to getting the 10 words on the perimeter of this puzzle | 80 |
| Presidential concern about the wizard lobby influencing health care legislation? | 80 |
| Poet who wrote "I have executed a memorial longer lasting than bronze" | 80 |
| Politician who appeared as himself on NBC's "Parks and Recreation" | 80 |
| Pianist known for her arrangement of "Jesu, Joy of Man's Desiring" | 80 |
| Part of a game name reportedly chosen because the game surface resembles a slope | 80 |
| Pope John XXIII encyclical "Pacem in ___" ("Peace on Earth") | 80 |
| Prefix with "violet," "liberal," or "conservative" | 80 |
| Postseason gridiron game, and a hint to the puzzle theme found in starred answers | 81 |
| Pope who declared "I am a sinner. This is the most accurate definition" | 81 |
| Prison threshold (represented by this 4x4 corner) at which the solver must arrive | 81 |
| Prez who said "If you can't stand the heat, get out of the kitchen" | 81 |
| Promising words (and what's hidden in this puzzle's four longest entries) | 81 |
| Pink Floyd "The ___ Song" off "Soundtrack From the Film More" | 81 |
| Perfect plan if you love eating oniony rolls while watching medical drama reruns? | 81 |
| Punishment used most often, worldwide, by China, Iran, Saudi Arabia, and the U.S. | 81 |
| Phillips who created "Guiding Light" and "As the World Turns" | 81 |
| Pitcher Mike who got the win in the first and last games of the 2000 World Series | 81 |
| Pieces of pasteboard with "The Ballad of Reading Gaol" printed on them? | 81 |
| Punch line to "What's the longest sentence in the English language?" | 82 |
| Poet who wrote "Heard melodies are sweet, but those unheard are sweeter" | 82 |
| Paul Reubens alter ego who laid low for a while after the public masturbation bust | 82 |
| Popular 1980s arcade game where one had to fence off a supermajority of the screen | 82 |
| Poet who's the subject of Tom Stoppard's "The Invention of Love" | 82 |
| Program about Andy Taylor's hometown being shaken up by a civil rights leader? | 82 |
| Playwright who inspired "A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum" | 82 |
| Pejorative nickname for one supporting a cause via unproductive feel-good measures | 82 |
| President who said, "If you can't convince 'em, confuse 'em" | 82 |
| Place to live (different ones are hidden in this puzzle's four longest answers) | 83 |
| Publication founded in 1843 to campaign against the Corn Laws, with "The" | 83 |
| Pepe who said "You are ze corned beef to me, and I am ze cabbage to you." | 83 |
| PLAYGIRL, soft-hearted, huggable. Red hair, brown eyes, great smile. Loves kids ... | 83 |
| Philosopher whose fully-dressed skeleton is on display at University College London | 83 |
| Poet giving a reading of "I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings" at the saloon? | 83 |
| Pessimistic J. Geils Band hit with the line "It's gonna make you cry" | 83 |
| Part 1 of a Robin Williams quote that starts out "See, the problem is..." | 83 |
| Puppet in Kevin Clash's autobiography "My Life as a Furry Red Monster" | 84 |
| Physics unit of measurement that's another unit of measurement spelled backwards | 84 |
| Place where the starts of this puzzle's four longest answers result in a penalty | 84 |