| P.T. Barnum hoax The ___ Mermaid (from the old spelling of a Pacific island) | 76 |
| Pageant winner who also won at the "USA" and "Universe" levels in 2012 | 90 |
| Pain-reliever once trademarked by Bayer (slogan: "The sedative for coughs") | 85 |
| Painted the town red, in a way ... or successfully completed this puzzle? | 73 |
| Painter of "Pelvis with Shadow and the Moon" and "Cow's Skull with Calico Roses" | 104 |
| Painting partly shown on the original cover of "The Da Vinci Code" | 76 |
| Pal of "Cookie Monkey," according to my son who isn't that good at English yet but who certainly enjoys "Sesame Street" | 143 |
| Pal of Marshall, Lily, Robin and Barney on "How I Met Your Mother" | 76 |
| Palace used as police headquarters on the original "Hawaii Five-O" | 76 |
| Palindromic girl's name that ranked among the 10 most popular in each of the past five years | 96 |
| Palindromic phrase ostensibly spoken to a person with a palindromic name | 72 |
| Palindromically surnamed swimmer Kristin who won six gold medals at the Seoul Olympics | 86 |
| Paper with "Marketplace" and "Money & Investing" sects. | 79 |
| Parlor game, and word that can follow the last word of the answers to asterisked clues | 86 |
| Parody song with the lyric "I always eat too much and throw up" | 73 |
| Parsons who played Hilary Banks on "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air" | 74 |
| Part 1 of a Robin Williams quote that starts out "See, the problem is..." | 83 |
| Part of a game name reportedly chosen because the game surface resembles a slope | 80 |
| Part of a U.S. president's name that's Dutch for "neighbors" | 78 |
| Part of his body was famously insured for $100,000 by Lloyd's of London | 75 |
| Part of NaOH (just to give The Snack's old rival a smidgen of equal time) | 77 |
| Part of the 1964 Civil Rights Act concerned with employment discrimination | 74 |
| Part of the Constitution that deals with judicial powers and defines treason | 76 |
| Part of the earth whose temperature Al Gore claims is "several million degrees" | 89 |
| Part of the face whose name is derived from the Latin for "grape" | 75 |
| Part of the pen name of the author who also once used the pseudonym Pierre Andrézel | 86 |
| Part of Zemeckis's Best Director speech for "Forrest Gump"? | 73 |
| Partake in a voluntary economic strike to protest the amount given to the government | 84 |
| Parthenon architectural feature (and an anagram of "Poet? Me?") | 73 |
| Particle physicist whose findings were first accepted by Einstein, but later were shown to be fraudulent | 104 |
| Pasadena institute where most of "The Big Bang Theory" characters work | 80 |
| Past-tense verb that is the same as its present-tense form minus the fourth and fifth letters | 93 |
| Patriot in the American Revolution known for a midnight ride born on January 1, 1735 | 84 |
| Patterson who played the title role on TV's "Private Benjamin" | 76 |
| Patti LaBelle hit whose remake lasted longer in the #1 spot than the original | 77 |
| Paul from "American Splendor," one of Salon.com's 10 Best Movies of 2003 | 86 |
| Paul Reubens alter ego who laid low for a while after the public masturbation bust | 82 |
| Paul Simon told him to get on the bus to "Leave" his "Lover" | 80 |
| Peggy who wrote George Bush's "Read my lips: no new taxes" speech | 79 |
| Pejorative nickname for one supporting a cause via unproductive feel-good measures | 82 |
| Pen name for Angela Lansbury's character on "Murder, She Wrote" | 77 |
| Pennsylvania baseball park that might (weirdly) host playoff baseball in 2013 | 77 |
| Pentecost, e.g., and what can literally be found in this puzzle's four other longest answers | 96 |
| People classified as "homo groovius" by humor website Uncyclopedia | 76 |
| People who recite "Jabberwocky" door-to-door during the holidays? | 75 |
| Pepe who said "You are ze corned beef to me, and I am ze cabbage to you." | 83 |
| Perfect plan if you love eating oniony rolls while watching medical drama reruns? | 81 |
| Performance Artist who planted her "Wish Tree" in Peggy Guggenheim's Venice museum | 96 |
| Period of supervision for a porn actor who's done poorly in recent backdoor scenes? | 87 |
| Period that ends Nov. 3rd, requiring a shift, and letters that shift in this puzzle's theme entries | 103 |
| Periodical with the tagline "A home doesn't need to be big, just smart" | 85 |
| Person that "I'm Not," nor were any characters, in a 1996 movie | 77 |
| Person who believes that studying socks and shorts long enough will reveal god? | 79 |
| Pessimistic J. Geils Band hit with the line "It's gonna make you cry" | 83 |
| Pet targeted by the first words of this puzzle's four longest answers | 73 |
| Peter Tosh "You Don't Miss Your Water (Till Your Well Runs ___)" | 78 |
| Peter who bought Manhattan in 1626 for the modern equivalent of a few thousand dollars | 86 |
| Petty "Their A&R man said 'I don't hear a ___'" | 73 |
| Petty: "Me and ___ were singing, 'Little Runaway' ..." | 72 |
| Pharmaceutical company budget line generally dwarfed by ad expenditures: Abbr. | 78 |
| Phase in which the moon's right half is mostly visible in the Northern Hemisphere | 85 |
| Phenomenon evidenced in the 2011 film subtitled "Never Say Never" | 75 |
| Phenomenon observed in receding galaxies ... and in the answers to this puzzle's asterisked clues? | 102 |
| Philanthropist Henry who founded many affordable housing developments in NYC | 76 |
| Philatelist George, founder of the largest weekly newspaper for stamp collectors | 80 |
| Philip Carey's handicap in Maugham's "Of Human Bondage" | 73 |
| Philip __, first Asian-American film actor with a Hollywood Walk of Fame star | 77 |
| Philips who said "I've learned about women the hard way - through books." | 87 |
| Phillie Chase on Sports Illustrated's "MLB All-Decade Team" | 73 |
| Phillips who created "Guiding Light" and "As the World Turns" | 81 |
| Philosopher Jeremy's "the greatest happiness comes between two slices of bread" food? | 99 |
| Philosopher who coined the phrase "the best of all possible worlds" | 77 |
| Philosopher who wrote "It is difficult to free fools from the chains they revere" | 91 |
| Philosopher who wrote "Superstition is the religion of feeble minds" | 78 |
| Philosopher whose fully-dressed skeleton is on display at University College London | 83 |
| Phineas ___ (lead role on the 1980s sci-fi series "Voyagers!") | 72 |
| Phoenix-based ballplayer, and what the start of each answer to a starred clue can be | 84 |
| Phone call telling you to pay the IRS immediately or you'll be thrown in jail, e.g. | 87 |
| Phone company ranked first in msn.com's "Customer Service Hall of Shame" | 86 |
| Phrase before a sportswriter's name on the cover of an athlete's autobiography | 86 |
| Phrase indicating slight progress, and a hint to this puzzle's theme | 72 |
| Phrase that indicates you needn't worry about Chinese restaurant syndrome | 77 |
| Phrase with synonyms starting this puzzle's eight longest Across answers | 76 |
| Physical principle whose equation explains the changes in this puzzle's theme entries | 89 |
| Physician William who wrote the classic text "The Principles and Practice of Medicine" | 96 |
| Physicist Schrödinger with a famous theoretical half-dead/half-alive cat | 75 |
| Physics unit of measurement that's another unit of measurement spelled backwards | 84 |
| Pianist known for her arrangement of "Jesu, Joy of Man's Desiring" | 80 |
| Pianist known for her transcription of Bach's "Jesu, Joy of Man's Desiring" | 93 |
| Piano pieces nicknamed 'Winter Wind' and 'Butterfly,' e.g. | 74 |
| Picking the right brown pigment is like playing the lottery -- you've just got to choose ___ | 96 |
| Picnic food with a classic jingle asking "what kind of kids eat" them | 79 |
| Picnic serving, and when divided properly, a hint to a hidden feature of six pairs of puzzle answers | 100 |
| Piece of furniture with a ton of stuffed animals (in my house, at least) | 72 |
| Piece of usually antiquated technology that is passed onto one's parents | 76 |
| Pieces of pasteboard with "The Ballad of Reading Gaol" printed on them? | 81 |
| Pink Floyd "The ___ Song" off "Soundtrack From the Film More" | 81 |
| Pink Floyd hit with the lyric "Grab that cash with both hands and make a stash" | 89 |
| Pioneering black comedian (whose signature line was "Oh, yeah!"), ___ Rogers | 86 |
| Pirate Davis who is the first MLB player to hit grand slams for two different teams in the month of April | 105 |