| Todd Snider "Conservative Christian, Right-Wing, Republican, Straight, White American ___" | 100 |
| There are four hidden in this puzzle, which together suggest a familiar five-word saying (3,5,4,2,4) | 100 |
| Title heroine who says "One half of the world cannot understand the pleasures of the other" | 101 |
| Texter's "it's a secret" shorthand spelled out by the starts of four puzzle answers | 101 |
| Test subject #4 perceives A and C as blue, B and D as orange, 1 and 2 as red; maybe she rides the ... | 101 |
| The only person to have been nominated for an Oscar, a Golden Globe, a Grammy and the Nobel Peace Prize | 103 |
| TV character who said "I wasn't known on Melmac as the whiz kid for my scholastic ability" | 104 |
| This animal presumably spends its entire life in a shell ... correction: just the first part of its life | 104 |
| Tom's costar in "Days of Thunder," "Far and Away," and "Eyes Wide Shut" | 105 |
| Tipper Gore org. that placed "Darling Nikki" and "She Bop" on its Filthy Fifteen list | 105 |
| Text adventure with the classic line "It is pitch black. You are likely to be eaten by a grue." | 105 |
| TV show with episodes titled "Viva Las Vegas" and "What's Eating Gilbert Grissom?" | 106 |
| The artist ___ wrote a four-book treatise on a) human proportions; b) botany; c) choral music; d) theology | 106 |
| TV character who says "It's 1 a.m. Better go home and spend some quality time with the kids" | 106 |
| The only "Celebrity Apprentice" participant to appear on a previous "Apprentice" season | 107 |
| Timepiece that's bound to last forever (and it might as well be free with the deal you're getting!) | 107 |
| Tools for ESP researchers (whose symbols are found at the ends of the answers to the five asterisked clues) | 107 |
| TV show that gave us the classic line "I love it when a plan comes together," with "The" | 108 |
| TV theme composer Hagen (he's also the one whistling at the start of "The Andy Griffith Show") | 108 |
| The Library's Periodicals Room was the source of most of the excerpted material in the first issue of ___ | 109 |
| Type of waveform that gets its name from its resemblance to the serrations on a woodworker's cutting tool | 109 |
| TV character who says "I didn't think it was physically possible, but this both sucks and blows" | 110 |
| There is an important one spelled out by the last characters of this puzzle's clues, starting from the top | 110 |
| Tycoon who said "A lasting relationship with a woman is only possible if you are a business failure" | 110 |
| Theme answer count, amount of letters in each, word hidden in each, and, when repeated twice, today's date | 110 |
| Triatomic gas in a thinning layer ... and, symbolically, what appears in this puzzle's four longest answers | 111 |
| Thomas who was "a corsetmaker by trade, a journalist by profession and a propagandist by inclination" | 111 |
| The 2005-06 season was the first since 1950-51 in which this type of show wasn't among Nielsen's top 10 | 111 |
| Tone-Loc and Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch, e.g. ... or how this puzzle's theme entries might be described? | 112 |
| The sculpture "Kryptos," which has never been fully deciphered, stands at its main entrance and courtyard | 115 |
| The "who" of a Clue accusation, whose identity is hinted at by the three circled answers in this quadrant | 115 |
| The "what" of a Clue accusation, whose identity is hinted at by the three circled answers in this quadrant | 116 |
| The "where" of a Clue accusation, whose identity is hinted at by the three circled answers in this quadrant | 117 |
| The cover photo of him from the 1992 Sports Illustrated Sportsman of the Year issue was used in 2005 as a postage stamp | 119 |
| Today, to Caesar—and a hint to the hidden word appearing in this puzzle 15 times (including the one in this answer) | 119 |
| Theme #2 (Bu-bu-bu-bum snap snap, bu-bu-bu-bum snap snap, bu-bu-bu-bum, bu-bu-bu-bum, bu-bu-bu-bum), with "the" | 121 |
| Theodore Roosevelt, who was never known as the modest type, is the only U.S. president ever to give an inaugural address ... | 124 |
| The Library's rare first-edition printing of "The Star-Spangled Banner" is, to its publisher's chagrin, ___ | 125 |
| Title words following "don't say you're sorry, 'cause I'm just not concerned," in a 1966-'67 hit | 126 |
| TV show whose working title was "Please Stand By" (and what you'll have to cross 18 times when solving this puzzle) | 129 |
| The Peck and Snyder Company pioneered the use of ___ as advertising tools to sell a) candy; b) beverages; c) tobacco; d) sporting goods | 135 |
| The state of New York might make you get one after you were on a plane back from Hong Kong with this guy who couldn't stop coughing | 135 |
| The Process of Elimination: In the answer to each starred clue, cross out any letter that appears ___; then read the letters that remain | 136 |
| Today, I tried to put a self-effacing three-letter acronym inside each theme entry. Turns out it works in any order except the one I want. ___ | 142 |
| Taylor Swift song that contains the line, "Fighting with him was like trying to solve a crossword and realizing there's no right answer" | 150 |
| Trains, in a way, and the key to 18 of this puzzle's black squares. (Ones that begin with the keyword are asterisked. The others are for you to discover.) | 158 |
| TV jargon term for Seinfeld's "The Chinese Restaurant" and others, in which all of the action takes place on a single set with only a few characters | 162 |
| Trial for a car [NOTE: My online solve-at-home crossword contest is TODAY AT 3 P.M. ET (Sunday, 9/30/12). First prize is $2,500. For details, visit www.alzfdn.org.] | 165 |
| This, for example: "Some traffic jam, huh?" "Yeah." "How long we been here?" "Too long!" " 'Rush hour' ... go figure." | 176 |
| Tiny bit (NOTE: The hidden generals in last week's puzzle were: (North) Grant, Sher-idan, Meade, Cus-ter, Burns-ide, Sherman, and Hook-er; and (South) For-rest, Early, Pic-kett, Stu-art, Longs-treet, | 204 |