| Response to a weak joke | 23 |
| Response to a wake-up call | 26 |
| Response to a waitress | 22 |
| Response to a vet, maybe | 24 |
| Response to a threat | 20 |
| Response to a text alert in the movie theater | 45 |
| Response to a surprising statement | 34 |
| Response to a superior's request | 36 |
| Response to a sudden chill | 26 |
| Response to a stomach punch | 27 |
| Response to a stimulus | 22 |
| Response to a sneeze, in Sonora | 31 |
| Response to a sneeze | 20 |
| Response to a slight | 20 |
| Response to a skeptic | 21 |
| Response to a site gag? | 23 |
| Response to a sinking feeling? | 30 |
| Response to a shot, maybe | 25 |
| Response to a shock | 19 |
| Response to a sharp rejoinder | 29 |
| Response to a sermon | 20 |
| Response to a schoolyard denial | 31 |
| Response to a scarecrow, perhaps | 32 |
| Response to a scarecrow | 23 |
| Response to a sales clerk | 25 |
| Response to a rude remark | 25 |
| Response to a rude advance | 26 |
| Response to a rodent | 20 |
| Response to a ring | 18 |
| Response to a revelation | 24 |
| Response to a request to extradite Edward Snowden | 49 |
| Response to a ques. | 19 |
| Response to a punch, perhaps | 28 |
| Response to a punch in the stomach | 34 |
| Response to a punch in the gut | 30 |
| Response to a punch | 19 |
| Response to a pun, perhaps | 26 |
| Response to a pun | 17 |
| Response to a proposal | 22 |
| Response to a preacher | 22 |
| Response to a polite refusal / (next line) It's spelled out in a Tammy Wynette hit | 86 |
| Response to a polar vortex | 26 |
| Response to a pointer | 21 |
| Response to a pledge drive request | 34 |
| Response to a playground challenge | 34 |
| Response to a playful insult, in the style of Tracy Morgan | 58 |
| Response to a pinprick | 22 |
| Response to a pinch, perhaps | 28 |
| Response to a pickup line, perhaps | 34 |
| Response to a pick-up line, perhaps | 35 |
| Response to a pass? | 19 |
| Response to a pass, perhaps | 27 |
| Response to a painful pun, say | 30 |
| Response to a one-liner | 23 |
| Response to a Nebraskan's gag? | 34 |
| Response to a naysayer | 22 |
| Response to a mouse? | 20 |
| Response to a minister's question | 37 |
| Response to a minister | 22 |
| Response to a massage | 21 |
| Response to a masher | 20 |
| Response to a lousy deal | 24 |
| Response to a laryngologist | 27 |
| Response to a knock, perhaps | 28 |
| Response to a knock, maybe | 26 |
| Response to a knock at the door | 31 |
| Response to a knock | 19 |
| Response to a kissing bandit | 28 |
| Response to a king | 18 |
| Response to a judge | 19 |
| Response to a joke? | 19 |
| Response to a joke on-line | 26 |
| Response to a joke in an I.M. | 29 |
| Response to a joke about Whitney Houston's death, perhaps | 61 |
| Response to a joke | 18 |
| Response to a jerk? | 19 |
| Response to a J.P. | 18 |
| Response to a highly anticipated event | 38 |
| Response to a helper | 20 |
| Response to a gut punch | 23 |
| Response to a groaner | 21 |
| Response to a great retort | 26 |
| Response to a good massage or some fireworks | 44 |
| Response to a good dig | 22 |
| Response to a good barb | 23 |
| Response to a general question? | 31 |
| Response to a general | 21 |
| Response to a gag, perhaps | 26 |
| Response to a gag | 17 |
| Response to a funny YouTube link, say | 37 |
| Response to a funny text | 24 |
| Response to a fleecing? | 23 |
| Response to a fireworks show | 28 |
| Response to a fencing lunge | 27 |
| Response to a father's question | 35 |
| Response to a dubious assertion | 31 |
| Response to a drought ending | 28 |
| Response to a doubting Thomas | 29 |
| Response to a doubter of one's abilities | 44 |
| Response to a doubter | 21 |