| The first piece of information ever learned about you during your lifetime, probably | 84 |
| The genie studies it for a while and finally says, "This is impossible. So ..." | 89 |
| The Greek "khalix" (pebble) for the English "calculus," e.g. | 80 |
| The Guinness book once dubbed her "television's most frequent clapper" | 84 |
| The half of the keyboard on which all of this puzzle's answers can be typed | 79 |
| The handle of Charles Dickens's ivory letter opener, in the Library's collection, is ___ | 96 |
| The King (subject of four "sightings" elsewhere in this puzzle) | 73 |
| The largest in the U.S. was found in Oregon's Willamette Valley in 1902 | 75 |
| The largest man-made object in orbit around the Earth, with "The" | 75 |
| The last cast member to sign on for the "Arrested Development" reunion, supposedly | 92 |
| The last song on Bob Dylan's "Desire," named for his then-wife | 76 |
| The last word of this puzzle's five longest answers is a type of one | 72 |
| The length of a meter is based precisely on the amount of light emitted from this | 81 |
| The Library's Periodicals Room was the source of most of the excerpted material in the first issue of ___ | 109 |
| The Library's rare first-edition printing of "The Star-Spangled Banner" is, to its publisher's chagrin, ___ | 125 |
| The Library's Special Collections include one of George Washington's creations, ___ | 91 |
| The longest one in English is the Navy term "ADCOMSUBORDCOMPHIBSPAC" | 78 |
| The longest word containing only letters from the second half of the alphabet | 77 |
| The Magnetic Fields' "Wi' ___ Wee Bairn Ye'll Me Beget" | 77 |
| The murals at the Harvard Science Center and Rockefeller Center, for example | 76 |
| The Onion: "___ Announces New Version of Magazine Aimed at Adults" | 76 |
| The only "Celebrity Apprentice" participant to appear on a previous "Apprentice" season | 107 |
| The only 1930's boxing champ you need to know for solving crosswords | 72 |
| The only grading letters that appear anywhere in this puzzle (other than the present clue) | 90 |
| The only movie to be the highest-grossing of the year and still lose money | 74 |
| The only person to have been nominated for an Oscar, a Golden Globe, a Grammy and the Nobel Peace Prize | 103 |
| The only recipient of Sports Illustrated's "Sportswoman of the Year" (from 1976) | 94 |
| The only U.S. president whose vice president ran against him to succeed him was John .... | 89 |
| The only woman on Time's list of the 20 most influential 20th-century business geniuses | 91 |
| The overdramatic speaker at the press conference was known for using ___ ... | 76 |
| The pairs of letters inserted into each of this puzzle's theme answers, for example | 87 |
| The Peck and Snyder Company pioneered the use of ___ as advertising tools to sell a) candy; b) beverages; c) tobacco; d) sporting goods | 135 |
| The point at which people will see me as "The War of the Worlds" author Wells? | 88 |
| The practice of trying to stop something that persistently occurs in an apparently random manner | 96 |
| The Presidents of the United States of America sang its theme (with "The") | 84 |
| The Process of Elimination: In the answer to each starred clue, cross out any letter that appears ___; then read the letters that remain | 136 |
| The Rock of ___ (after translation, "The Rock of the Rock of Tariq") | 78 |
| The Rolling Stones' first greatest hits album, "___ and Green Grass" | 82 |
| The sculpture "Kryptos," which has never been fully deciphered, stands at its main entrance and courtyard | 115 |
| The sculptures "Cloud Shepherd" and "Coquille Crystals" | 75 |
| The second African-American, after Hattie McDaniel, to be nominated for an Oscar | 80 |
| The second blank in the seafood restaurant sign "___ ___ season" | 74 |
| The Sphinx's is "blank and pitiless as the sun," per Yeats | 72 |
| The starts of answers to asterisked clues are the most popular adult Halloween ones | 83 |
| The state of New York might make you get one after you were on a plane back from Hong Kong with this guy who couldn't stop coughing | 135 |
| The Stones' "Sticky Fingers" and "Tattoo You," e.g. | 75 |
| The story of "Sleepy Hollow" set in outer space (or wherever else comes to mind)? | 91 |
| The Supreme Court or the starting lineup of the Washington Nationals, e.g. | 74 |
| The title character in ''Dumbo'' is the only one that __ | 72 |
| The Tony Martin hit "There's No Tomorrow" is based on its melody | 78 |
| The Tragically Hip "___ all up, don't save a thing for later" | 75 |
| The Village ___ (musical group with the 1963 hit "Washington Square") | 79 |
| The White Stripes's second album which was named after a Dutch art movement | 79 |
| The whole nine yards, or a hint about how the starred answers are formed | 72 |
| The word, as suggested by the saying formed by the ends of this puzzle's four longest answers | 97 |
| The works ... or how each set of circled letters in this puzzle is arranged | 75 |
| The world's largest ..., in Anniston, Alabama, boasts fifteen-foot legs | 75 |
| The world's largest ..., in Coleman, Alberta, is used to raise money by the Lions of Coleman | 96 |
| The world's largest ..., in St. Albert, Alberta, does not have a similarly scaled birdie | 92 |
| The world's largest ..., in Wilmot, Ohio, unleashes mechanical Bavarian dancers hourly | 90 |
| The world's largest ..., prepared in Campbellsport, Wisconsin, required four gallons of relish | 98 |
| The zoo's masseuse had to rub the back of one of the gorilla's necks whenever ___ | 89 |
| The ___ (nickname for each season's recurring villain on "Buffy the Vampire Slayer") | 98 |
| The ___ (trophy for the annual test cricket match between England and Australia) | 80 |
| Theater VIP section, as suggested by the answers on this puzzle's edges | 75 |
| Theme #1 (Doo doo doo-doo, doo doo doo, doo doo doo-doo DO do-do-do-do-do ...) | 78 |
| Theme #2 (Bu-bu-bu-bum snap snap, bu-bu-bu-bum snap snap, bu-bu-bu-bum, bu-bu-bu-bum, bu-bu-bu-bum), with "the" | 121 |
| Theme #3 (Nahnahnahnah nah-nah nah-nah ... nahnahnahnah nah-hah nah ...) | 72 |
| Theme #4 (Dah dah-dah dah-dah, dah dah dah! Dah dah-dah dah-dah Dat-Dadah!) | 75 |
| Theme answer count, amount of letters in each, word hidden in each, and, when repeated twice, today's date | 110 |
| Then-obscure actor who played a victim in "A Nightmare on Elm Street" (1984) | 86 |
| Then-obscure actor who played a victim in "Friday the 13th" (1980) | 76 |
| Then-obscure actor who played a victim in "The People Under the Stairs" (1991) | 88 |
| Theodore Roosevelt, who was never known as the modest type, is the only U.S. president ever to give an inaugural address ... | 124 |
| Theologian who started the custom of dating events from the birth of Christ | 75 |
| Theoretical terrorist's theoretical threat that we should probably go crazy worrying about | 94 |
| There are eight of these before "baby" in Elvis's "A Big Hunk o' Love" | 98 |
| There are four hidden in this puzzle, which together suggest a familiar five-word saying (3,5,4,2,4) | 100 |
| There are ones named after all the men featured on current U.S. banknotes except Hamilton | 89 |
| There is an important one spelled out by the last characters of this puzzle's clues, starting from the top | 110 |
| There's one at the beginning of each of this puzzle's four theme entries | 80 |
| These occur—symbolically—at this puzzle's six circled "intersections" | 91 |
| They "make children happy by giving them something to ignore" (Ogden Nash) | 84 |
| They come after signatures in snail mail, yet before signatures in e-mail: Abbr. | 80 |
| They fly throughout the U.K. (not to be confused with the American carrier) | 75 |
| They got back together to tour with 98 Degrees and Boyz II Men in 2013, for short | 81 |
| They had knives on Roger Waters' "Pros and Cons of Hitch Hiking" | 78 |
| They included Chopin's "Prelude in E Minor," in a film title | 74 |
| They Might Be Giants song with the line "And her voice is a backwards record" | 87 |
| They might have the newspaper Hospodárske Noviny shipped overseas to them | 76 |
| They require special viewing gadgets, and this puzzle's literal title | 73 |
| They were "Grateful" for their hippie following (with "The") | 80 |
| They were invented by 15-year-old Chester Greenwood in the winter of 1873 | 73 |
| They were labeled "Breakfast," "Dinner" and "Supper" | 82 |
| They were once promoted with the slogan "Ivory tips protect your lips" | 80 |
| They're "in flight," according to "Afternoon Delight" | 77 |
| They're found at the ends of this puzzle's three other longest answers | 78 |
| They're gonna do what they do so just turn your head away and hold your palm out | 84 |
| They're not in the in-crowd ... and read differently, what each starred answer has two of | 93 |
| Thing offered every time you go home even though you've been a vegetarian for years now | 91 |